Erin K.

Five years ago I was admitted into the hospital. I had been feeling tired and out of sorts for a few days leading up to it but just chalked it up to being busy: kid’s activities with my daughters in 4th grade and 2nd grade at the time, weddings (I’m a florist), the school PTA Auction coming up which I was chairing, and life in general. But then I started having a hard time breathing. I felt like my throat was swelling up and I woke my husband up at 5am and said I needed to go to the hospital. By midday I was admitted, put in a medically induced coma, and incubated.

They had no idea what was happening except that my airway was 9/10ths closed do to an invasive Strep A infection. By Thursday I went from being septic to having Streptococcal toxic shock syndrome (STSS). My husband was told it was so random it was like being “struck by lightning.” (Sepsis and Group A Streptococcus, Sepsis and Toxic Shock Syndrome)

I was incredibly lucky to have had such amazing doctors who acted quickly and were continuously reevaluating my treatment plan along with nurses who helped my husband process and explain everything that was happening. I know it was so much harder for him because he had to watch me go through this while processing his emotions and fear of what was going to happen. I had multiple blood transfusions, a cocktail of antibiotics given to me through IV, insulin, and who knows what else. Five days later I came out alive, with all my limbs, and zero organ failure—I know I was one of the lucky ones.

I was discharged just over a week later and told that I might be on penicillin indefinitely (I was for the next two years) and a PICC line that my husband became an expert at changing out once a day for the next three weeks. But because I can’t keep still I ended up back in the hospital a few weeks later.

Three days after my second discharge the world shut down. COVID changed everything for everyone. For me specifically I still needed to go to the hospital multiple times a week for the next month or so. The girls were home, bored and wanted to be entertained because there was nothing else to do. Meanwhile, I desperately craved the normalcy of pre-COVID life so I could selfishly come to terms with all of the emotions I was struggling with and the changes that came with my post-STSS life. Sometimes I still grapple with those moments of fear and anxiety, but taking a moment to reflect and write this down has been very cathartic for me and I hope it helps others.